American Beauty is an amazing movie.  There are several fantastic moments, but the one that sticks with me daily is when Kevin Spacey is driving to Mr. Smiley’s with “American Woman” turned up loudly.  He is singing along, not having a care in the world.  Do you think Lester Burnham’s happy in this scene? You’d better believe it.

People get caught up in the rat race, in the day to day minutia that really doesn’t add up to jack shit in the grand scheme of things.  Have you ever seen someone get pissed off that the Starbuck’s barista accidentally used whole milk instead of 2%? I recently had a woman bitch at me at the grocery store for pushing my cart too slow.  Really.   I know it sounds ridiculous, but who hasn’t witnessed some similarly pathetic scene of overreaction.

I say all of this to make this point.  The most powerful force in the universe is indifference.  Sounds simple, but in many cases its easier said than done.  Most people are the way they are because they are conditioned that way from their upbringing and/or societal pressure.  They feel they SHOULD be a certain way.  Because of this, he or she feels pressure or anxiety to perform or behave to certain standards or norms.  Many people experience this from their job.  This causes a lot of stress and interference, and therefore people become like the Annette Benings character on American Beauty: way too wound up!

Kevin Spacey’s character lets go.  He lets the burden of worry wall by the wayside.  He chooses to be happy now.  Life is way too short to feel so tight and restrictive.  The phrase “go with flow” is some great advice, or as Paul McCartney once said, you’ve got to “let it be.”

Indifference doesn’t mean not caring about other people, or being flippant.  It means that you let go of excess and unnecessary stress and worry.  Besides, most of the stuff we worry about never happens anyway, and if it does, its because you attracted it from holding the thought in your head! (More on this concept in a future post)

Another facet of indifference is its power in negotiations.  This ranges from interpersonal to business.  The person who cares the least is in control.  (These guys agree: http://changingminds.org/index.htm) Does the buyer want to make the sell more than the seller wants to buy the product?  In this scenario the seller has the leg up.  And how about in interpersonal relationships? Does one person want a relationship more than the other? The person who wants it more will have to pay more, and that doesn’t necessarily mean ‘pay’ as in monetary terms.

So to summarize, indifference will help you feel lighter by not worrying about things unnecessarily and it aids in negotiations and power dynamics in many other facets of life…In a nutshell, Bob Marley said it best: “Don’t worry, be happy”