“Run with the Skunks”

What kind of skunk do you want to smell like?

Growing up, I often heard the quote: “If you run with the skunks, you will start to smell like them.”  I realize how redneck this quote sounds, but I think the concept is huge.  Your peer group will largely determine your altitude.

I’ve talked about how most people are followers in almost all my posts, but it is easy to underestimate the influence the people around us have on us.  Consciously or not, we begin to use the same vocabulary, we adopt compatible dress, we adopt similar beliefs, and so on.

Your beliefs have a tremendous impact on your life.  If your peer group believes that making $100,000 is impossible, how likely is it that you earn that amount? By the contrary, if everyone in your peer group earns over $100,000, how much easier do you think it will make it?

I remember my first month in business for myself,  I made $5,000 dollars and was very pleased to have hit my initial goal.  Previously, I had been employed, and despite how hard I worked, my monthly salary never topped $3,500.  I broke my record by $1,500! I was excited! That day I told some friends of mine, not to brag or to be a dick, but to encourage and to share my success with them.  They told me that “I thought my shit didn’t stink.”  What?? That definitely wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, but it did teach me a valuable lesson.

In Australia, they call it the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ when peers criticize and resent someone due to some genuine merit or achievement.  Other people like to feel superior and look good.  When you are successful, it challenges their self esteem, and sadly, many people can’t handle it.

Several months later, I lost a lot of money, but for no good reason besides self sabotage.  I lost money so I could belong and relate.  I’ve heard of hundreds of similar stories.  Someone gets successful and their friends and family resent and disapprove of the ‘new’ person.  As a result, that person deliberately fails to get back to their previous level.

The obvious solution is to find people that are a little bit better than you at the things you want to be good at and compete with them.  Find eagles that fly at the altitude you want to fly.  Don’t waste your time hanging out with turkeys, especially if they are going to keep you on the ground.

Back to the original quote, how do you want to smell?

Do you want to smell rich? Hang out with high income earners and investors.  Do you want to smell fit? Hang out with athletes.  Determine how you want to “smell” and go run with those skunks!

Everybody Wants What Hot

I met a guy at a party last night that was bragging about this hit record he invested in.  He had a friend who was successful filling up local clubs playing country music.  He invested some money into getting his friend a good sounding studio record, and as luck would have it, this country singer is starting to take off and get radio play.  During our conversation,  he made the statement “once everyone realizes that its going to be big, then the people don’t stop coming.”

This reinforced a concept that I’ve talked about in a previous post: MOST PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWERS!

This country playing musician is the same guy that was playing local clubs a month ago.  The difference now? He’s “hot”…

People don’t want to look bad.  Bottom line.  So they wait to see what the other people will do.  “Oh, the radio plays this guy? Then he must be OK.  I’ll go to that concert now.”  The crazy thing is, HE’S THE  SAME FUCKING GUY as before!

What is everyone else doing? What is everyone else listening to? What clothes does everyone else like? What celebrity does everyone else want to sleep with? What kind of bag does Paris Hilton have?

What kind of bag does Paris Hilton have? How about: who cares

When you look at it that way, it seems pretty stupid, doesn’t it?  Who gives a shit? Somebody else doesn’t need to tell you what is cool! Like whatever the fuck you want to like! Be whoever you want to be!

If you want to take over the world, just convince the lemmings that you are what’s “hot” and they will give you all their goddamn money and more.  Try it, It works. Just ask Paris Hilton.

You Are Probably Generic

I want you to imagine for a minute that you are an alien from outer space.  You’ve come from another galaxy and landed in some random college town in America.  You don’t know anything about brand names, or what is considered in vogue.  All you can see is ‘what is.’

After walking around on a local college campus, you notice something peculiar…all these guys look exactly the same! They have a t-shirt, cargo shorts, and flip flops.  Being an alien, you have tremendous difficultly telling any of them apart from each other!

If you look like this, you are just a member of the crowd

In my previous post, I talked about how women are attracted to leaders.  If you look like everyone else, then you are a follower.  Guess what the worst part is? You are a copy of a copy of a copy.  So  you are like a 100th generation copy.  You don’t stand out.  Your style isn’t cool. You probably act just like the other guys too.

Ok, so far I’ve been a butthole in this post, but with good reason.  This point is huge: MOST GUYS ARE GENERIC!!! Simply realizing this will make you much more powerful.

I consider Earl Nightingale one of my influencial mentors.  If you haven’t listened to his program “Lead the Field” you should stop what you are doing and find it now.  The crazy thing is that it was recorded 50 some odd years ago, but all his principals still apply today.  He also makes the point that most people are followers.  Most guys are reactive.  They are waiting for someone else to give them cues.  They do not have the balls to act first and go after what they want.

In a world of followers, it is easy to get to the top because the followers will always be a couple steps behind, trying to keep up!

The point of this post is not fashion tips; but have you noticed leaders tend to LOOK like leaders?

Leader in Music

Tribal Leader

Stop being generic.  Start leading.  Get it?

How to Get the Chicks without Trying

Most guys try WAY too hard.  When I visit downtown ATX, I see thousands of generic wannabees that are way too similar to this guy:

Look, the reality of ‘the game’ is this: its not the lines you use, its not wearing some stupid fuzzy hat, its not doing magic tricks (although some of these guys do pull like mad).  The point I want to make is that too many guys come from false place.  The tiresome cliche “be yourself” has been repeated a million times for good reason; men need to come from a place of authenticity!

The goal should never be to go out and trick or convince a girl into bed with you.  If that is your goal then shame on you! What is that kind of behavior saying to your subconscious mind? It says that I am not ‘good enough’ the way I am, so I have to be someone else in order to get the love and approval I seek.  Furthermore, it is WAY too much work.  Sex feels great, but c’mon, stop putting it on a pedestal, its not that big of a deal.

Ok, so you may be asking yourself, then how do I get the chicks? There are several factors that will automatically attract women, and several of them have been addressed in previous posts.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. Leadership/Dominance/Power

2. Higher Social Status than her

3. Personality

4. Indifference

5. Good looks/height

I would argue that these 5 are triggers that automatically make a woman feel attraction.  A man needs to assess himself and see which areas he is naturally strong and play to those strengths.  Women do this same thing (at least the smart ones do), the girls with nice legs wear daisy dukes.  The girl with nice breasts has a penchant for low cut tops, etc.

Leadership/Dominance/Power

Why is it so many secretaries sleep with their boss? Why does the quarterback stereotypically fuck the hottest cheerleader? Why do leaders like Bill Clinton and JFK have girls on the side?

Easy: men in a position of power and leadership are VERY attractive to women. Only a few hundred years ago, we lived in tribes. So in this example, let look at a Native American tribe.

Who do you think got the most ass in those tepees? Thats right, the chief and the chief’s buddies.  Instead of learning retarded pick up lines, you should be doing what you can to be the chief of whatever groups you frequent.

Higher Social Status than her

Remember the story of Cinderella? A lot of women fantasize about getting swept off their feet by Prince Charming and then going and living in his giant castle happily ever after.  Some guys judge women who chase this type of guy as gold-diggers (and many rightfully so), but with all the losers out there like in the first video, can you blame them?  In any case, she wants to move up in life, and your wallet may be the way.  It is what it is.

Warning: Keep an eye on your wallet!

Another facet of this is the popular guy, like the class president who knows everyone.  This works because the more people that are in agreement with a guy, the less likely he will be expelled from the tribe.  More friendly contacts means more access to resources.  Women pick up on this.  I would also lump rock stars in this category because if they are accepted and approved of on stage in front of 1,000s of people, it means that they are safe within the group or tribe.  There is also the element of power and personality, but if no one likes the band, the quality of groupie goes downhill fast.

Personality

Personality levels the playing for field for a lot of guys.  Men tend to forget that women are creatures that rely on their feelings a lot more than men do.  What does this mean to guys? Make her laugh.  Every time she does, she has all these wonderful feelings in her body, and she associates hanging out with you with feeling good.  Just make sure you aren’t a complete clown!

Yes:

Ben Stiller gets this concept

No:

No, No, No!

Indifference

When you don’t have a care in the world, you don’t have anything to lose.  Most guys are outcome dependent.  Let it all go.

(See: The Most Powerful Force in the Universe)

Good looks/height

Good looks or height never hurt anyone, but I do think its the least important of all the listed traits.  If you have a nice body, then keep yourself in shape.  Being in shape is a good health indicator. Make sure to keep at least SOME personality though.

Dress in a way that accentuates your best features like women do.  If you have nice eyes, then wear colors that bring them out.  If you have a fit upper body, then wear shirts with an athletic cut.

By the way, it helps to have more than one card to play.  So if you have personality, then getting in good shape will make you a more complete package.

In any case, focus on improving yourself instead of learning ridiculous routines and pick up lines.  Do stuff you love doing, and meet people along the way.  The results will speak volumes.