“Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying”

People are always looking for shortcuts. They want the easy way- and why not? Life is too short to waste.  So when it comes to making money, dating beautiful women, or achieving power most people want techniques and to be told what to do.  I’m here to tell you one obvious truth that is the single most important factor to your success.  Are you ready? It’s not a matter of technique or trick: It’s WHO YOU ARE.

Its tough to be a leader and to enroll people into your reality if you don’t know who you are.  Another way to put this is: who or what you are being.

What are you ‘all about?’ If asked, could you tell someone in one or two precise sentences? You can people watch and ask yourself what word come to mind when you see people walking.  Ask  yourself, “what is this person saying without even speaking?”  You immediately know that guy with gold teeth, sagging pants, and a swagger to his walk is conveying “toughness” or the word “thug” comes to mind.  You see the blond girl with the huge glasses, tiny dog, and expensive purse.  “Paris Hilton clone” or “rich bitch” is who she is being.  I’m not telling you to stereotype, but I do want to increase your awareness of what you are communicating to others non-verbally.

"Who you are speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you are saying"

What about you? What are you conveying to other people? Do you even know?

Your goal is to seek inner harmony.  You must be congruent in your reality.  You want to come from a solid place of inner peace.  Seek to eliminate inner conflict and trim away the layers that are not serving you.

A great way to grow is to challenge your beliefs.  It may be extremely uncomfortable at first, but when you realize that you aren’t your beliefs, you can cut and cull away as necessary.  This is important, because as was mentioned before, in human interaction, the person who believes in their view of the universe more, wins.  That belief system dominates.  So to put it simply, if you have a cloudy reality with inner conflict, you aren’t as powerful as you could be.

So back to determining who you are…a helpful hint is this: most people look externally, and let other people or things define them.  The truth is, you have the power over this, contrary to what most think.  In fact, because you know the power of belief systems, you know that you can influence others opinions of you, simply by believing strongly in yourself!

Most people are followers looking around waiting for someone to tell them what to do, who to be, and what’s “hot.”  You have the power to determine those things for yourself.  Fuck what some commercial says-they just want your money.  What do you think is cool? Thats whats important.  I can’t remember where I read it, but I always liked the quote, “Put a smile on your face first.”

Don’t blindly follow the crowd.  Be who YOU want to be.  Make no apologies and take no prisoner.  You’ll wake up one day to find that you are lighter, happier, and living harmoniously.

Let your Light Shine

This guy sells cell phones.  WHY THE HELL DOES THIS GUY SALE CELL PHONES? It makes no sense right? This is old news, and this guy went on to win’s Britain’s version of “American Idol.”  Once Paul starts singing, his gift becomes pretty obvious.  What I want to bring to your attention is, despite having that sort of talent, this guy was selling cell phones.

Its great he had a day job, and wasn’t panhandling, but couldn’t he at least have worked at the opera house? I bet he would have look forward to going to work everyday.  How many people do you know like this? They are richly blessed in some way, yet they cowardly settle for mediocrity.

Don’t let that be you.  If you have a river of interest or some talent, then its time to let your light shine.  People will be debating the meaning of life forever, but personally, the more I share my light with others the more fulfillment I feel.  If you are feeling fulfilled, then you probably aren’t sitting around wondering whats your purpose.

Speaking of purpose, if you don’t have one, you are like driftwood.  You aren’t really going anywhere.  You are just floating along.

You don’t have to have somebody else’s permission to let your light shine…in fact, waiting for someone to give you permission to pursue your passion is a deadend street.  Your friends and family may tell you play it safe–”get a job selling cell phones and MAYBE one day you’ll get lucky and get discovered.”

You will never get the kind of success you seek if you put in half ass efforts.  Burn the bridge to safety, realize there is no turning back, and go after what you want.  Stop waiting for someone to show up and give you permission to be who you want to be!

If your talent positively impacts a great number of people, then you can expect to be richly rewarded.  Worst case scenario, you will be doing what you love to do.  Don’t just work some shit job because you feel some sort of obligation.

Stop being a pussy, and let your light shine!

Lean Back

This is some damn good advice and you should take it very literally.  The concept of “leaning” is incredibly interesting when you dissect it a bit.

I talk a lot about power in this blog, and this is a technique that will make you seem MUCH more powerful.  If you are talking with an extremely attractive woman, it is really easy to lean forward in the conversation (physically as well as psychologically)- so you may not even be aware you are doing this, but you probably are.  You are conveying too much interest.  If you will put your weight on your back foot, it subcommunicates that you are willing to leave at any time.  This will in turn make her interested in YOU.

In environments like clubs where women are hit on often, if you are a stranger and walk up, often the first thought is: who is this person? It puts her on the defensive.  When you lean back, you eliminate the pressure of interrupting and being unwelcome in her space.

Earlier tonight I tested my theory.  I stopped by a local tanning salon to pass out flier for an upcoming event I’m putting on.  I consciously leaned back when conversing with the two girls working the front desk.  I started making my way to the door and the girls kept talking to me! I leaned on the door to go and BOTH girls literally came out from the behind the desk to follow me to the door.

I had to say ‘bye’ quickly and walk out the door so they’d STOP talking to me.  I wasn’t saying anything particularly profound, but I was coming from a place of power.  I was doing the opposite of what the other 100 guys had done.  They leaned forward.  They wanted sex coming from a place of neediness.

Do you see why this is so powerful? You are communicating that you are the leader and they are the follower without saying a word.  It frames them as the pursuer, and you as the powerful one. You come across as confident and a challenge.  This is the opposite of needy behavior, and it turns them on!

Keep in mind, low status people frequently bow forward in submission.  You don’t see pro athletes with forward head and shoulders.  She wants someone more powerful than her.

So stop leaning in and following her lead. Lean back, convey confidence, and say what you have to say.

Never Give Up

I just got back from Chicago where I was traveling for business.  Its nice to get out of the everyday routine every once in awhile. I have also found that doing new things is  great for creativity.  During my trip I got to meet a local gym owner who has grown his business from 0 to $500,000 a year in 5 years.  He gave us a talk about his background and if you thought you had it bad, this guy takes the cake.

The business man told of how he graduated high school at 6′2″ and weighted a whooping 105 lbs.  I am not even kidding.  He said the first time that he worked out, he tried to bench press the bar and almost strangled himself if not for 4 girls who came and lifted the bar off of him.  He didn’t say this, but at 105 I can guarantee you this guy got picked on mercilessly.

I was fascinated while he told his story.  Today, he weights 230 lbs, and he still doesn’t really look ‘jacked.’  He said he decided he would learn everything he could about the human body so he could build himself.  He WON my respect for one main reason: he has a tremendous amount of heart.

Its easy to listen to the story of the victim in your head and feel sorry for yourself.  Its easy to think you’ve got it so bad and if only this or if only that.  Its easy to quit and it easy to settle for less.

The business man doesn’t have that attitude.  He looks at it like “here’s where we are, here’s what we’ve got to do to get from point A to point B.”  Success can be simple if you allow it.  He grew his business just like he grew his body, and now he is an example for others.

Another great example of this is football player Wes Welker.  In high school, Wes Welker was the best player in the entire state of Oklahoma.  Despite winning all sorts of awards, he was plan B for Texas Tech after another player backed out of his scholarship.

Welker had a great college career and won awards, but wasn’t drafted by the NFL.  It would have been easy to listen to the scouts and teams who were saying “you are too small.”  He could have played it safe and used his degree to get a safe job and be ordinary…but he didn’t.  He even got cut his first year after making the roster.

In 2007, Welker led the NFL in receptions and set a franchise record.

Fuck the guys who get handouts. Fuck the guys who are born with it and that have a silver spoon in their mouth.

Don’t just ’settle’ for a shitty job in a shitty town just because its safe.  I have news for you.  One day you are going to die and it’s not going to matter then that you played it safe and lived a boring, mediocre life.  Why settle, when all you have to do is keep going? Live your dream, be happy now.

You can be-do-and have anything you want, you just have to decide and DO IT.  The problem most people have is that they grossly underestimate their ability to get it done…so they never try.

Have heart.

Never give up.

Stop Trying to Impress Her

Have you ever traveled through Europe and had street merchants try to sell you cheap shit? Or what about online- you are trying to read something on a website and an annoying pop-up selling penis enlargement pills keeps annoying you.  When people and ads are trying to force-feed an item to me, it makes me not want it, and it actually makes me annoyed.  People love to buy, but they hate to be sold.

The more you try to sell yourself to others, the less value you’ll have. This is vitally important, so I will repeat: The more you try to sell yourself to others, the less value you’ll have. In other words, if you are ‘cool,’ you don’t have to convince people that you are! If you are some super pimp lady killer, you wouldn’t have to brag to women about the size of your dick.  Is this making sense?

Seems backwards, I know, but think about it.  If you met Sean “P-Diddy” Combs in a club, would he come up to you and tell you about how much money he made today, how many records he sold, and how many thousands of women he’s fucked? Nope.  What would happen is if you got past his bodyguards, he’d probably offer you a glass of champagne, sit back, and ask you questions about you.

The more you sell yourself, the more insecure you appear to others.  People value scarcity.  They want whats not readily available.  The more scarce an item is, the more value it has.  I can’t go into my backyard and dig up a diamond on demand.  My neighbor can’t either, so hence the high price a diamond fetches.

Women know this, and that is why they often play hard to get or don’t return phone calls of the guys pursuing them–even if they like the guy!

You’ve got to take this knowledge and utilize it.  Stop bragging about your job, your car, your exotic vacation.  No one gives a shit.  Lead an exciting life, have things going on, and you will naturally exude the qualities of a cool guy who isn’t constantly approval seeking.  When you run into a 9 or 10 who has guys giving them the power all day long, you will get her attention because you aren’t sucking up like the last 100 guys she’s met.

Realize- YOU are the prize.  Stop selling yourself and know that you are buyer.  YOU decide.  YOU have the power!