Confidence and Authority

After a long workout, I like to get a Freebird’s burrito full of protein rich chicken and black beans to refuel myself.  Yesterday, I had a particularly good workout, so I pumped up and feeling great.  During my weight lifting sessions, I use several techniques to lower my inhibitions–this increases strength and performance about 10-15%. So I’m feeling great, I’m out of my head, and I walk into Freebirds.

Apparently I’m talking loudly and standing strong.  When I get to the checkout to pay, the hottest girl was working the cash register.  I say something like “hey what’s up” or some other small talk and look at her and smile.  In this moment, I am feeling extremely confident.  I am projecting it, and she can feel it.  I am strong and dominant, and I could really care less if she likes me or not.  It fucks her up real bad and she acts nervously, but in a good way.  She asks me the same question twice, smiles a lot, and the girl working beside started teasing her for liking me.  It was a vivid reminder of how important your ’state’ is and how feeling good pays dividends.

How you feel is huge.  If you haven’t been eating very much and are lacking sleep, you will likely feel weak.  If you feel weak, then it is tough to behave like a strong male.

At the end of the day, women want the strongest male’s genes, so being a strong male is certainly something to aspire to, although admittedly ’strong’ can be interpreted in more than one way (In other words, ’strong’ isn’t limited to muscular or physical strength).

Confidence is attractive in any language.  It is knowing that you will succeed.  You are in the zone.  You aren’t monitoring yourself in the moment.  You know you will say the right things.  You know you will do the right things.  Because of this, you don’t have a care in the world, you are present and can handle any obstacle thrown your way.  If your house caught on fire, you would calmly get water and put it out, and not panic and say “Holy shit! What do I do? OMG! FIRE! SHITTTTTT!!”

As it relates to sex…

Look, you can try to think your way home with the hot blonde at the bar all you want, but at the end of the day, logic isn’t the answer.  What is you ask?  Confidently treating the subject of going to your house and fucking you as the most normal, socially acceptable thing to do in the world.  No big deal.

Think about it- how would you behave if everyday you took a different woman home every night?

First off, you wouldn’t be the least bit surprised when she told you she’s ready to go, because it happens to you everyday. Its old hat.  Secondly, you would have ZERO fear of any kind. You’d make the kind of confident faces James Bond does and not give a fuck about what happens because you know you are going to meet a different, prettier one tomorrow!

A good looking tall guy who acts timid is going to get his ass handed to him by the short man with average looks who acts with confidence and authority.  The guy who creates his own reality , and doesn’t sit back and wonder why he isn’t successful is the one that wins.  He has a purpose – here I am, this is what I have to say, nice to meet you.

Brent Smith, dating guru often says you can pretty much get away with anything if you do it with enough authority.  The key is that you are 100% congruent with your actions.

Here are some ideas to help you feel more confident:

1. Talk louder

2. Stand taller

3. Work out

4. Eat consistently through out the day

5. Dress sharp and groom yourself- look your best

Stop Wanting – Start Having

I’m not sure if I’ve promoted this before, but the Sedona Method is the shit.  I’m not sure who first said this, but “wherever there is attachment, association with it brings endless misery.” Most of the program is dedicated to releasing the emotional charge you have attached to different elements of life.  This helps people let go and become much more present.  In the program, instructor Hale Dwoskin has a statement he sometimes says when asked questions from the audience that I find somewhat fascinating.  He says ” Would you rather WANT to have ______ or HAVE ______?”

Its so simple, yet super effective.  People are often attached to their suffering because they get something out of it.  For instance, someone may want to have money, but they like the feeling of being the victim, so they continue to suffer.

If you are constantly in a state of wanting, then you can’t be in a state of having.  When you want something deeply, you are lusting after it.  So inevitably you put it on a pedestal out of your reach.  Logically, it makes sense that if you ‘want it more’ and you try harder, you will then obtain it.  However, as has been mentioned before, ‘trying harder’ doesn’t work in the mental realm.

Would you rather WANT to have a million dollars or HAVE a million dollars? Would you rather WANT to have sex with beautiful women or HAVE sex with beautiful women? Would you rather WANT to have success or HAVE success?

Would you rather WANT to have sex or HAVE sex with her?

You’ve got to realize, the all-knowing part of you already has the answers, but you have to be present and take your wanting out of the equation.  This also eliminates the suffering that comes with it- so go with the flow!  Release the emotions that are attached with what you want, and as illogical as it seems, you will obtain it much faster.

Stop wanting, its not helping you get what it is you want, and simply let it go.  Starting being the kind of person, who does the necessary things, to have what it is you want.  Contrary to what you may have been brought up to believe, you do not have to suffer to enjoy the fine things in life.

Stop Wanting – Start Having

You are Responsible for You

It’s election time and again, and people everywhere are clamoring to support their favorite candidate.  If you want “hope” and “change” vote Obama.  If you want to be a good Christian, vote McCain.  I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but lets be real here–these guy are just talking heads.  The people really pulling the strings are the rich corporations and business people who are funding their campaign.  That is who is really in power–they have Obama and McCain by the proverbial balls.  Besides, a change in leadership for the U.S. at this point is moot.  Its not going to make your life any better or worse.  Why you might ask? Because YOU are responsible for YOU.

This Just In: They Just Want your Vote!

“What are we going to do” asks the masses about the economic strife the U.S. is facing.  “I got downsized, what do I do now?” While it is unfortunate people are losing their jobs and their money, playing the victim isn’t going to help anyone.  What will help is asking this question: How can I serve my community and my fellow man?

Despite the loss of funds, people still have basic needs that MUST be met.

With the internet, you now have incredible leverage to help solve people’s problems globally.  So maybe you don’t have the skill set to help locally, but the possibilities are endless when you factor in the ENTIRE population.  More people world wide are getting online every day.

If you want to be responsible for your future, stop playing follow the leader and get educated.  A smart person would be learning how to communicate and sell online, or at least, how to help a company that does.  Every indication is that we are moving towards a more global economy.  If you are still viewing the world with the lenses of 1960; you are fucked.

Responsibility may be one of the key, underestimated differences between the rich and the poor.  The poor look for hand outs and directions, saying things like “give me a job,” while the rich create ways to serve the people and solve problems.  Create your own opportunity.

How much you make isn’t up to your boss–its up to YOU.  What valuable skill are you bringing to work everyday? How easily are you replaced? How much time and effort have you put into your education? Do you even own a library card?

You are also responsible for how many kids you have.  Codoms are dirt cheap.  Pull out.  Get on birth control pills.  Its your responsibility to take care of all the children you make.  Stop fucking if you can’t take care of yourself, much less your hungry mouths at home.

Stop having babies if you can't pay for them

I realize there are perfectly good reasons why people should be assisted–they are disabled, impacted by acts of God (like Hurricane Ike), etc., but there are FAR too many people placing blame for their situation on the government and on their bosses, when ultimately they need to look in the mirror!

You are responsible for you.  Pull your head out of your ass and take care of business!

The Power of Momentum

Sports are great.  They allow men a means to communicate in a way that other men can immediately relate.  I love baseball and have been a life long Houston Astros fan.  Baseball is like a male soap opera…its 162 games bring all sorts of up, downs, highs, and lows along the way to which the fan can get an emotional buzz.

I remember in 2005, when the Astros acquired Carlos Beltran.  His first several at bats weren’t so great–but when he got hot, boy did he get on fire! The Astros rode Beltran’s bat to win the National League Championship and go to their first World Series.

The best team doesn’t always win.  If you pay attention to sport playoffs, you’ll notice that the teams that get ‘hot’ at the right time can upset the favorite and win it all.  Another way to look at it is momentum.

You are either growing or you are dying.  You are sailing or you are sinking.  A human who is not moving forward easily becomes depressed and literally has less ‘life’.

Momentum helps things go your way.  That’s why when a ball player is hot, the hits will fall in.  They will get favorable calls.  The intangibles work in their favor.

Isaac Newton said that objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest.  To apply momentum to your life, you must have ACTION and motion toward what you want to achieve or accomplish.  The difficult part is getting the ball rolling, but once it gets moving, its like the tiny snow ball that turns into an avalanche!

Go after what you want.  Persevere.  Once you get momentum, ride it, because it will make accomplishment 100x easier.

Allowing – How to Get What you Want

A lot of people ask me about the law of attraction.  To me, it is the scientific explanation for what religious people call prayer…or as I’ve written in a previous post: you become what you think about.

You see, holding a picture or thought in your mind makes you vibrate at a certain frequency to naturally attract the people and/or circumstances necessary to manifest it. The problem is, a lot of people get in their own way with counterproductive thoughts and mindset.

The point of this point is to go into more detail about a key factor in manifested whatever you want.  I talked about ‘feeling deserving‘ in a previous post, and this is the next step: allowing.

I read a quote recently that, unfortunately, I cannot completely recall, but it was by Abraham-Hicks, who are new age practitioners of the law of attraction.  I don’t agree with all of their teachings, but I do think they occasionally have some fantastic insight.  To paraphrase the quote, they said that in order to manifest you must “realize that you already at the right place at the right time.”  Wow.  Let me repeat that.  Right now, you are at the right place at the time.

When  you want something and you don’t have it, it is very easy to be in a state of wanting or lack.  In the physical world, if you want results in sports for instance, you can practice harder or put more effort into it.  However, in the mental world, this is counterproductive.

Realizing you are at the right place at the right time will push you out of the wanting state and into the proper mindset to receive your affirmations and visualizations.

I know this sounds over simplified, but try it.  If, for instance, you are wanting more money and are constantly thinking thoughts like “money is tight,” “where is the money I’m trying to manifest,” you will continue to not have it.  You are manifesting ‘not having it.’  If you continue abundance minded affirmations and visualization such as “I am a money magnet,” “I earn $20,000 a month” and assure yourself that you are at the right place at the right time, you will be amazed at the opportunities that are right under your nose that you didn’t see before.

In order to have or do something, you must first BE something.  Allow yourself to BE the type of person who does and has the things you want.  Come from a place of already being that type of person and allow the rest to naturally happen.

Let your worry fall by the wayside–you are already at the right place at the right time.